International Women's Day

The Psychotherapist’s Best Advice

In connection with International Women's Day, Q by Consid organized an internal lecture for all employees with Victoria Paglert Kindman, licensed psychotherapist (PDT) and specialist in psychotherapy. During the lecture, Victoria highlighted three key aspects of mental health: how it affects us, which strategies and tools are effective for managing worry and anxiety, and concrete advice for strengthening our psychological well-being. Here, Victoria Paglert Kindman answers three important questions from Consid’s employees on how to manage worry and challenging situations using proven strategies and practical tools.

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Victoria Paglert Kindman

Licensed Psychotherapist (Psychodynamic Therapy – PDT)

How should we handle the anxiety about the state of the world right now?

When we experience general anxiety about the world, society, and the future, we often focus on external factors beyond our control. This can lead to repetitive worrying—ruminating over issues we cannot change. Such persistent thoughts trigger emotional responses multiple times a day, which can eventually keep our nervous system in a constant state of activation. Breaking this cycle as soon as possible is essential—much like overcoming a habit like nail-biting. It requires conscious effort to stop the thought pattern: “I’m caught in these thoughts again, which I want to break. What can I do right now, in this moment, to shift my focus?”

It is often more helpful to turn our attention to what is within our reach—our close relationships and the way they function. In some cases, it may also be beneficial to take a step back from constant news consumption, as the sheer volume of information can be overwhelming and difficult to process.

If staying informed feels important, consider taking action instead of passively worrying. Getting involved in an organization or contributing in a meaningful way can create a sense of purpose and agency. Unlike passive worry, which benefits no one—including yourself—taking action can provide a more constructive way to channel concern.

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How do you handle the pressure as a consultant to always appear as a confident expert? How do you balance challenging yourself without it leading to unhealthy stress and feelings of inadequacy?

The words “good enough” are crucial here—we can’t be the best in every situation all the time without burning out. The rubber band stretches until it snaps or breaks. We need to accept that we won’t always feel confident, and when we embrace that, we become more relaxed, which in turn generates confidence. “Take me as I am.”

We do our best with the sales techniques we’ve learned so far, and we can only apply them as well as our current knowledge allows. When we try to pretend or be someone we’re not, we immediately feel a conscious or unconscious dissatisfaction with ourselves — “I’m not good enough as I am, I must be wrong, therefore not right.” This creates a negative emotional response, whether we’re aware of it or not, which ultimately impacts our performance and generates insecurity.

I believe that when we aim to grow and challenge ourselves, we need curiosity and interest in understanding how we function. How did this conversation with the customer feel? When did it feel good? When did it feel less good, and why? This self-reflection needs to be done with kindness — not through harsh self-criticism, but with supportive thoughts.

The real challenge is then to apply what we’ve learned about ourselves—to dare to test it out — and to not look down on ourselves if things don’t go perfectly. Instead, we should remind ourselves that we are in a learning process, and mastering something takes time and practice.

How can you stop feeling guilty for putting your own needs first?

The principle I always refer to is the same as on an airplane—you’re instructed to put on your own oxygen mask first before helping others. The same applies to life, relationships, and personal well-being. When you prioritize your own needs, you’re actually being considerate toward others, because you’ll have more energy, presence, and capacity to support and engage with them in a meaningful way.

Taking care of yourself—by setting boundaries, ensuring you get what you need (such as time, rest, nourishment, space, love, and recovery)—allows you to be there for others from a place of strength rather than exhaustion. There’s no reason to feel guilty for this. In fact, you could turn the perspective around: if you do something for others out of obligation rather than genuine desire—because you’re too tired or uninterested—that’s when guilt might be more appropriate, as it means you’re acting in a way that isn’t fully authentic.

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Equality

Q by Consid is Consid's community for gender equality - a platform through which we work for increased gender equality in the tech industry.